I’ll be totally honest that I don’t always jive with a lot of the conversation on most masculinity podcasts.
- Only speaking to straight, cis men
- Carrying a very narrow view of masculinity
- Leaving its listeners’ femininity off the table
That’s why I was actually glad to talk to Luke of The Imperfect Pod. He opens and explores a lot deeper and richer conversation on his show.
I sat down with Luke to talk about masculinity and the effects of prescribed gender stereotypes in my relationship with Garrett.
But what we really talked about was the conditioning that stops us from being ourselves. And the harm that causes to ourselves and others.
We talked about how masculinity and femininity are just social constructs that have held different meaning across time and culture.
If they’re helpful in exploration and shame transmutation, claiming them can be powerful. If they’re limiting, we can throw them out.
We talked about how you don’t have to assert what’s already been claimed. It can’t be taken from you if it’s claimed. But you can’t claim a brand of masculine that isn’t authentic to you.
And the definition of masculinity today is so narrow that very few of us actually match it. So we spend a lifetime trying to “prove” something we actually aren’t.
We talked about the myths of emasculation and feminization—that somehow getting more in touch with my femininity automatically takes away from my masculinity.
Like how stretching takes away from strength training. Oh wait, it doesn’t. It adds to it. It makes a stronger me.
We talked about knowing ourselves. Knowing our brand of human—which can be seen through lenses of masculine and feminine or not.
And we talked about building a life that feels like you. Because you never have to try to be yourself. If you’re trying, it means you’re being somebody else.
It’s a good one. Thank you, Luke for a great conversation. And 80 minutes(!) long.
Take a listen above, and let me know what you think.