For accessibility and ease, you can listen to this post narrated by Mike:
I never understood why I couldn’t just be—satisfied.
Easy-going. Happy. Go-with-the-flow. Content.
Everyone else around me seemed to be getting along well with life. Flowing with life. Fitting in.
And, there I was, unsatisfied. Bored by this job or relationship or situation. Feeling like maybe I was just sabotaging a good thing. Or maybe I’m perpetually ungrateful. Maybe I feel drama or anxiety in even the most innocuous situations.
Feeling maybe something is wrong with me.
I watched friends and family who seemed happy in their situations. Who didn’t always need more. Who didn’t stay up at night questioning the purpose of life. Who wouldn’t trade in sleep for one real conversation.
The truth is I shamed myself for so long because I was unable to settle. Telling myself I just needed more mindset work. Or to just choose to be happy. Or that I should be grateful for the people, places, and situations in my life.
That something was fundamentally wrong with my emotions. And I couldn’t trust them. And I was just spoiled and bratty and high-maintenance.
I so badly wanted to settle and be happy with this thing over there. To be as easy-going as the next guy.
That’s our problem as visionaries, isn’t it? We so badly want to settle. We so badly want to be easy-going and content. Not high-maintenance anymore. Not so emotional or sensitive.
Honestly, there were many times I wished I could have settled. For minor digestive discomfort when eating gluten or dairy, instead of three weeks sick to my stomach. Or for minor annoyance at that imperfect job, instead of feeling dread every time I checked my email.
Because sensitivity is the antithesis of settling. Being so sensitive, any time something didn’t fit even a little, I felt it deeply. And there was a lot that didn’t fit me in life. So I told myself that I must be the problem. Because everyone around me was getting on fine.
We visionaries are sensitive. More sensitive than most. It’s our blessing and our curse. That our emotions are so strong. That we sometimes don’t understand why we feel the way we do. That we can’t really settle. That we can’t just numb out.
Settling is always an act of numbing out. Because it’s not fully feeling your emotions—what’s right for you—so you can choose an ill-fitting container.
And, on the scale of aliveness, numbness is akin to death. We experience life through our senses. Through the exhilaration of a rollercoaster drop. The sight of a beautiful sunset. The sound of an opera singer.
The more sensitive we are, the more alive we are. We’re sensing, experiencing, more of life. And the more numb we are, the less we’re experiencing that life. The less we’re fully engaged with the world.
And we shame ourselves for being more alive. For being more sensitive. For seeing and feeling what others cannot.
Newsflash—that’s what it means to be a visionary. To see what others cannot.
Visionaries are phenomenal at knowing when a container doesn’t fit. The problem is we live in a world where ill-fitting containers are pretty normalized. And we’re told to settle all the time.
So we don’t fit into that world. Because we feel too deeply. We want something real. We want something connected. We want to feel Truth and honesty and love. Really, we want to feel our essence, our genius.
And, when we create containers from the place of that genius, we make others more sensitive to life.
How often is it that you have a conversation with a best friend, and you just feel energized? Or you watch a powerful movie, and you start paying attention to those issues in your life? Or you see a gorgeous painting, and you feel more alive?
Great art has always been evocative. It evokes more of our genius to come forward. It makes us more sensitive. It makes us more alive.
Any container—any friendship, relationship, art, fashion, business offering—that is full of genius will always make us feel more alive. Because it’s calling forth our sensitivities. It’s making people feel deeply. And awakening them to their own genius.
And that happens naturally. Not in a kind of contrived or fabricated way. It happens when we’re in a good container that can hold our essence. Because more essence gets shared.
I want to be “too much” for most containers. I want to go deep. I want to have conversations late into the night. The kind that make me cry and feel and think about for two days after the fact.
I want my work to awaken parts of me I didn’t know were in there. I want to be awoken by even my patrons and readers and collaborators.
I want to feel deeply. And no longer try to numb out. I want to be fully alive.
For most of my life, I thought that deep desire was childish. And unrealistic. And, quite frankly, a curse. A distraction. Something preventing me from just settling and being happy and successful in this life.
But I’ve come to find that every person I know who’s ever felt “crazy” or “too much” or like they didn’t fit in at all—those are the people I’m drawn to. The true visionaries. The ones who are willing to look at the hardest, scariest questions of life. The ones who feel deeply. The anxious. The depressed. The ones who can’t seem to numb out enough, no matter how hard they try.
Those people are the geniuses of this world. The ones who create art, conversations, relationships, ideas that awaken others. The ones who truly change the world.
Maybe your emotions have never been wrong. Maybe you’ve never been fucked up. Maybe you really can’t just be happy or settle. Because you’re sensitive. You can feel more. You can feel when containers can’t fit you just right.
And you’re here for something bigger. Something real. Something that will awaken other people to their own sensitivities. To their own genius.
Maybe you’ve been a goddamn genius in hiding this entire time. Hidden in a life of ill-fitting containers and people who just couldn’t fully see you.
And it’s time to remember who you really are.
Questions for Reflection:
*Answer in a journal, in the comments right here, or take it over to the Sacred Branding® Facebook group where we can support one another:
Do you ever wish you could just be more easy-going and content?
— Do you ever wish you could be less high-maintenance? Or anxious? Or sensitive? Or emotional? Do you wish you could just be easy-going and happy? More go-with-the-flow? Just content and satisfied with your life?
— Have you ever shamed yourself for not being happy or satisfied with something in your life? Have you told yourself that you must be ungrateful or that something must be wrong with your emotions? Does it feel like you never seem to fit, no matter how hard you try? Have you felt like you didn’t fit in—to your family of origin? Friend group? Workplace? Life? Did you always seem to seek—more?
— What if you’re not broken or wrong, but you’re actually a visionary genius? What if your emotions have been pointing you to that genius all along? What if you are simply more alive—more sensitive to life? And you are finding the right containers so you can awaken yourself and others to more of their genius?