For accessibility and ease, you can listen to this post narrated by Mike:
For a long time, I couldn’t get myself to exercise.
Or buy clothes I loved.
Or read every day.
Or create healthy financial practices.
Or do market research and make sure our language was resonating with people.
Or any of the stuff that a successful version of me might be doing.
In fact, I actively rebelled against those things. I created all kinds of stories about how I wasn’t so materialistic that I needed to spend tons of money on clothes or so superficial that I was obsessed with my physical appearance. I even prided myself on it.
And what made it worse is that people would continue telling me things like, “Oh, you should exercise. You know how much better you’ll look,” or “If you bought shirts that fit better, you’d look better.”
People trying to change me. Just another internalized story that I’m “too much” and “not enough.” That I’m not currently good enough, and I have to change to become good enough.
Of course I rebelled.
Even if I tried, I couldn’t push myself to do any of those things. Because pushing felt like it was starting from zero—from not being good enough—and having to get some place to achieve worth.
Being pulled, though, is something different entirely. It’s being drawn to, magnetized by, something bigger. There’s no implication that we’re not good enough when we’re pulled toward something. In fact, we kind of have to feel worthy to even allow the pull in the first place.
To be pulled, we have to believe that we are geniuses. That we have a genius. That we’re not pushing ourselves to change and become worthy. We’re just being pulled deeper into the gravitational force of our genius.
It wasn’t until I started loving the way that I looked—even in my ill-fitting clothes—that I began to organically buy new clothes. Not because I wanted to change the way I looked to become more worthy, but because I wanted to externalize the way I felt on the inside.
It wasn’t until I decided I deserved time and space to connect with my body that I began to exercise. Not because I needed or even wanted to change my appearance. Simply because I deserved to feel as good in my body as I did in my soul.
It was a match. Like when two magnets are pulled toward one another. Not pushed because I felt I needed to change. That’s a story we visionaries have heard our whole lives. No wonder we resist it.
If I did something because I thought it would make me worthier, that would imply that I wasn’t worthy enough to begin with. That I was starting from zero. And then I’d never really be doing it for myself. Just to comply with the rules of the world around me. Other people’s ideas. And I’d only ever grow resentful. And still never feel good enough.
But, if I started from myself, from knowing that I’m a worthy genius, then the rest was easy.
Doing market research didn’t feel so scary. Because negative feedback wasn’t saying I was worth any less—I already knew I was a genius. It was just guidance to be more helpful. And wearing clothes that felt good was no longer about trying to make myself more beautiful; it was about honoring the beauty I already felt.
We’re pulled to the things we match up with. Like magnets. When we know our genius, we’re always pulled deeper and deeper into ways of expressing that genius. Organic, natural unfoldings of who we are.
When we know we’re geniuses, we’re willing to take risks we couldn’t have taken otherwise. Because failure stops feeling like failure and starts feeling simply like lessons to deepen into our genius. We don’t have to pin our entire worth on the outcome because we already know we’re geniuses.
And we even start honoring the things we’ve hated about ourselves. I’m Aligned; of course I’m really thin, like a line. And I’m Vulnerable; of course I’m “too deep” and “too emotional.” And I’m Zany; of course I’m “too loud” and “too passionate.”
Those genius points become our strengths—our literal genius. And we just find ways to keep honoring them and deepening into them.
Everything just becomes a natural expression of who we already are on the inside, rather than an attempt to change ourselves and become someone new.
When we’re anchored so fully into who we are, our vision can pull us forward. We’re not thrashing around in the endless ocean, hoping someone will save us; we’re hanging on tight to the anchor and allowing the boat to pull us forward.
We’re not starting from nothing. We’re starting from genius. And it’s subtle. It might look exactly the same from the outside. But we’re talking about the difference between pushing and pulling. Between changing ourselves to become worthy and expressing the worth that’s already inside.
For me, I couldn’t exercise or read or dress well because, honestly, I didn’t think I was worthy. And I resented the fact that I had to add another thing just to become worthy. Because managing being “too much” and “not enough” in this world was exhausting enough.
So I had to do the work—the deep work of discovering my genius (using Sacred Branding®) and really working through the associated emotional response and traumas.
And, remember, I’m the king of slow. So I’m not ashamed to admit it took me years. Of coaching, therapy, masterminds, journaling, meditation. Hell, I’m still unpacking it, and it’ll take me the rest of my life to keep unpacking.
But I look back five years ago, even, and I don’t even recognize that person. The one who wanted to accomplish so much and put so much pressure on himself to feel worthy. The pusher.
Because, slowly, somehow, over the last few years, I’ve been gliding toward my vision. Just holding onto that anchor and letting the boat pull me forward.
And I won’t say it’s been effortless. There’ve been plenty of waves to dodge and jump and ride. And plenty of exhausting times when I wanted to let go of that anchor. And even more times when I was sure I didn’t have the strength to keep holding on and navigating the waters it led me to.
But I had that anchor. And, with it, I had direction. A way to keep deepening into that vision. A way to keep coming back to my genius.
A way to organically step into all the things that make me more of myself.
Questions for Reflection:
*Answer in a journal, in the comments right here, or take it over to the Sacred Branding® Facebook group where we can support one another:
Do you ever get frustrated you can’t push yourself to do something?
— Do you ever want to start a new habit or routine, like exercising or eating healthier or getting your money in order, but you just can’t push yourself to do it? Have you ever felt resentful or actually rebelled against doing that particular thing?
— Do you push yourself to do some things because you “know” it’s a change you need to make? Do you ever run into resistance? Do you ever fantasize about how much your life will change and how much people will respond to you differently when you do make that change?
— What if you’ve been pushing, which stems from believing that you aren’t good enough or worthy? What if you could know for a fact that you are a genius and allow yourself to be pulled by that genius? What if you don’t have to make any changes to become worthy; all you have to do is discover the infinitely worthy genius within and let that be externalized?