For accessibility and ease, you can listen to this post narrated by Mike:
I used to live for the future.
I’d get so ahead of myself. If I started a blog, I’d imagine the day it’d reach millions of followers. If I started a new program, I’d imagine how much money it could eventually make me. If I met a new interesting person, I’d imagine how good of friends we might become.
I would always project way down into the future. Into the time when I’d be validated. Or finally feel fulfilled.
When I’d have the money or recognition or love I so craved.
When the conditions were just so. Enough for me to be happy.
Or, on the flipside, I’d worry about the potential problems in that future. I’d look at my current financial outlook and freak out that I wouldn’t have enough money in six months. Or I’d predict all kinds of problems that being more visible would cause in the future.
As a visionary, I was so used to seeing these big, expansive visions. And I’d tell myself it was responsible to plan. To see what the future might hold. To imagine any challenges or pitfalls or wondrous possibilities on the horizon.
So I was constantly vacillating between optimism and worry. In a state of imagination and anxiety. But never in the present moment.
And we visionaries do that so often, don’t we? These visions feel so alive and real to us. And we fall in love with them. In love with the possibilities, the people, the relationships.
Maybe we feel embarrassed or immature about it. Ever the imaginative kids with our heads in the clouds. Preferring to dream up visions than contend with our bleak realities.
And then maybe we freak out that we’re “too much” or “not enough” for these visions. That we can’t really do it. That it’s just not possible. That we can’t trust ourselves in the present moment.
The less I trust myself, the more I try to plan and predict everything. Because then I’ll be safe. Then I’ll preempt any potential problem.
And as a visionary—a person who’s felt “too much” and “not enough” for much of my life—I’ve gotten really, really good at predicting anything that can go wrong.
So we’re constantly caught in the throes of the visionary wave—rising with such hope and excitement of the possibilities and then crashing with the belief that everything could go wrong and we aren’t capable.
I gave a lot of power to my circumstances. To the situations happening around me. I told myself that if this program could just take off. Or if I could just have a little bit more money. Or if a few more people read my work. Or if I have the perfect relationship or friendships…
Well—then I’d be okay. Then I’d be saved from the constantly rising and crashing of the visionary wave.
And, more than anything, I wanted to be saved. Mostly from a life of always feeling “too much” and ‘not enough.” A life where I couldn’t trust myself and had to control every detail.
Living in the future, so often, was that savior. Except it looked a lot more like disassociation.
Being a visionary is a challenging thing. Because we see the future, we see possibilities so clearly. And often they’re exciting and vibrant and alive. And we tend to fall in love with all of it. We fall so fast and so deep, don’t we?
And we already struggle to fit into the boxes of the world. So it’s a lot more appealing to live in those visions. And to forget that we only see them so that we can create them—so that we can take action in the present moment.
It wasn’t until I discovered my unique genius (what we call ‘Brand Energies’ in Sacred Branding®) that I really began to realize I could get off the wave. Because the only reason I’m letting the wave carry me—and inevitably crash me back down—is because I want to be saved. I want to feel fulfilled. I want to feel like I have a greater purpose.
And I already do. It’s called my genius.
I don’t have to ride that wave at all. I can step to the side. And know that I can choose my genius right here—regardless of my circumstances. And I have enough genius to trust myself, regardless of what circumstances come up.
We visionaries may see visions that are yet to come. But we always have a genius that remains in the present moment.
And there’s nothing we have to do to be worthy or capable of that genius. In fact, we’ve had it since our moment of birth. It’s why we’re sensitive in the way that we are. It’s why we have the gifts that we do. It’s why we’ve experienced the trauma that we have. It’s why we have the desires that we do.
We are our genius. And that genius is always in the present moment. Even in our worst circumstances.
Over the last few years, as I’ve journeyed with hundreds of others through the Sacred Circles (and beyond), I’ve really learned to lean into that genius.
And, honestly, I’ve been shocked at how much I’ve stopped living for the future. How much I hardly even worry about things to come. Because—yeah, shit’s going to happen. And, believe me, it has happened. But I’m just not that freaked out about much of anything anymore. I know that, regardless of the circumstances, I have the tools to figure it out when it happens. I have the genius inside.
Even my worst fears, I can handle. Because I am a genius.
And I don’t need the perfect circumstances to be happy and fulfilled. I don’t need that amount of money or relationship or job anymore. (*Note: we all need a basic amount of money to survive—so I’m not talking about being able to access food, shelter, and medical care.)
I can choose my genius right now. I can do something that makes me feel Aligned, Zany, Free, Unmistakable, Successful, or Vulnerable right now.
And I can trust that, no matter what happens, I have those same tools to handle it.
And maybe the craziest part of all is that the more I do that—the more I choose my genius in the present moment—the less I actually have to live in my future visions anymore.
Because I’m not going out to the future to imagine those visions. I’m pulling them into the present moment and creating them in this world.
A visionary who’s in touch with their genius is a dangerous thing. Those are the types who create their visions in the present moment. And change the world.
Questions for Reflection:
*Answer in a journal, in the comments right here, or take it over to the Sacred Branding® Facebook group where we can support one another:
Are you always bouncing between optimism and worry?
— Do you find yourself living for the future? Do you find yourself starting a new exercise routine and immediately thinking of where you’ll be in a year? Or looking at your bank account and stressing out that you won’t have the money to survive in the future? Do you find it hard to live in the present moment?
— Do you tend to plan for the future a lot? Do you predict all kinds of problems or challenges that could possibly come up for you? Do you catch yourself imagining future scenarios that may or may not come to pass? Do you struggle to trust yourself to be able to handle things as they come up without having to plan for them?
— What if you are a visionary, and by nature, you have access to exciting visions for the future? What if you also have a genius inside of you that is your unique way to handle any situation life throws your way? What if you can trust that you’re never “too much” or “not enough”—that you’re actually a genius—and that choosing your genius now (regardless of your circumstances) will transform your life?