There was a time that I didn’t feel masculine enough. I didn’t feel like I measured up.
I was thin and short and emotional. I felt things deeply. I was really playful and goofy.
So I felt like I had to prove my masculinity.
But you don’t have to prove or defend something that’s fully claimed.
I don’t prove or defend that I have brown hair. Even if someone told me I didn’t, I’d just think they were crazy.
But how can you claim something that isn’t authentically you?
If I’m trying to be the type of masculine I see on TV or in magazines, I’ll be proving it until the day I die. Because that’s not who I authentically am.
But my brand of masculine is Vulnerable. And Zany. And Free. And Successful. And Unmistakable. And Aligned.
It’s why I am emotional and goofy. It’s why I am who I am. And that’s enough.
Or maybe it’s my brand of feminine. Or maybe it’s just my brand of me.
Whatever constructs we use or are helpful to us, we’ve all got a brand.
And nearly a decade of this work has told me I’m not the only one who hasn’t felt masculine enough.
So I sat down with the courageous Christian Lopez of Behind the Mask-ulinity Podcast to talk about your brand of masculinity.
How I’ve come to feel so fucking confident in who I am. How I feel sexy and powerful in my body. Why I’ve posted naked photos of myself in masculine and feminine poses.
And, most importantly, how, sure, people can call me not masculine enough—but that sounds like a them problem.
No one can take my brand of masculinity away from me. Or, really, no one can take my brand of me away from me.
This was a powerful interview, so definitely check it out above.
We talked about vulnerability, relationships with our dads, putting our worth into the “masculine” accomplishments we’ve been validated for, and overcoming shame to be all of ourselves.
And let’s celebrate your brand of masculinity.