About a year ago or so, I was feeling a lot of pressure in my business. I was planning our surprise engagement trip to Italy. I was secretly spending a lot of money on flights, hotels, and Garrett’s engagement watch—and somehow hiding it all from Garrett.
I didn’t want to tip him off at all (which isn’t easy when you live together and share finances), so I wanted to make it seem like I had the same amount of money as usual—and be able to pay for everything on top of that.
Contrary to my usual style of running my business, I felt myself wanting to push, hustle, and strive to make more money. So I took a pause on everything. A total pause. And I stopped and asked myself, “Why am I doing this? Honestly, why am I killing myself? I could easily make more money doing something else. I could do 40-hours of PR consulting on my own terms and make a lot more, if this is about the money.”
And I sat with that. I really did. It brought up all of these fears and doubts I had about how easy I can let it be. About how natural and intuitive running my business can be. And about how important—or not important—the money aspect was for me.
And then I flipped it around. And I asked myself, “Okay, what if I chose to stop working? I mean, we’d have to drastically change our lifestyle, but I know Garrett would of course support that decision. We’d make it work. So what if I chose to stop working? What would I do with my days?”
And that question brought up a lot of fear, too. Was that possible? Could I just choose not to work? Was that fair? Was I worth it?
As I sorted through that emotional labyrinth, I decided that I’d probably still write. Because I love writing every weekday, it’s for me. And I’d probably still have my weekly calls with Sherri because they’re so soul-nourishing. And if I was going to have my weekly calls, I might as well run the Sacred Circle because there’s nowhere I feel more alive than teaching on those calls and witnessing the life-changing transformations. And then I’d probably run the Sacred Mastermind to see those transformations even more exaggerated.
And, before I knew it, I had described my entire business. Every single aspect of it. The only difference was there was absolutely no pressure whatsoever. It wasn’t stuff I felt like I had to do. Or pressure to make a certain amount of money. It was simply stuff that I chose to do because it felt like the best use of my time. The best way for me to share my purpose with the world.
I think about that story quite a bit. It was really eye-opening for me. Not that I don’t believe that I deserve an equal energy exchange for the amazing work that I put out into the world (believe me, I do). But it made me realize that I don’t do this work just for a paycheck. I don’t do this work because of pressure. Hell, I don’t even write these posts with any intention of making you into a client right now. If you resonate and want to go deeper into the work, that’s fantastic, and I’d love to have you. But, beyond everything else, I do it for me. Because I honestly believe it’s the best use of my time right now.
It brings me back to childhood. When I’d be building or creating something. And I was so fucking excited. I couldn’t stop. I’d play and play and dread the moment when my mom would call me in for dinner.
I wasn’t creating because I had to earn my keep. Or prove my worth. Or be impressive. Or gain some status. I was creating because it felt good. Because there was nothing I’d rather be doing at that moment than that.
In Sacred Circle, we call that the Create energy. That childish, creative, passionate, fiery energy. Of creating for the sake of creating. For no other reason than it feels so damn good.
It’s how I want to live my whole life. Doing everything simply because it feels good. Because it feels like the best use of my time.
Knowing that my energy, my life force, is precious. So why am I wasting it on things that don’t matter to me? Why am I wasting it to create a world that I don’t want? I can take that precious energy and change the world for the better. Build a world that I do want to live in.
And that’s not about money. Or validation. Or any form of compensation. Certainly, we want, need, and deserve those things. And we’ll get them. But, in the purest form, I want to do because it’s an expression of who I am. It’s the best expression of myself that I can share in this very moment.
Can you imagine if your work was the one thing you most wanted to do every single moment you were doing it? How would that change your business? And how would that change the world?