I love when shit goes wrong.
I love when things don’t turn out as I expected.
I didn’t always. For most of my life, I’ve gripped on for control as tightly as possible.
Because, you know, we visionaries have been told we’re wrong time and time again. That we’re “too much” and “not enough.” That we can’t trust ourselves. That we’re not safe.
And, naturally, we want to stay safe. We don’t want to stand out too much. We want to follow all of the rules. We want to control the outcomes—because then, at least, we’re safe.
So I gripped on for dear life. I followed the rules to a T. I tried to control everything. And get what I wanted.
I prayed. And worked hard. And “manifested” my way to control.
And, inevitably, shit still went wrong somewhere.
And the tighter I gripped on for control, the more painful it was when things didn’t go according to my plans.
But something really interesting always happened. Every single time “shit went wrong,” I’d come out the other side way more aligned than I went in.
It wasn’t fun or graceful in the moment. In fact, it felt like a giant shitshow. But, somehow, in some way, I grew in every single one of these situations.
I can emphatically say I didn’t want to get really sick and vomit blood. I remember days where I was in so much pain that I couldn’t even reposition myself on the couch. Days where I’d give anything just to eat a cracker because I hadn’t eaten solid food in weeks. Days where I was convinced I was going to die.
And yet that catalyst was what led me to fall in love with Garrett, leave my job, deepen into my spiritual practices, and start the work that I do now.
I didn’t want to have a “failed launch” for a program a few years ago. But the stress and surrender of that process forced me to re-evaluate my work and discover the Sacred Circle.
I didn’t want to get sick again at the end of 2018, but that process started a new journey of refined empowerment and monumental steps in basically every single area of my life.
Every time shit goes wrong, I become more of myself.
See, the thing is—control can only ever be set by our current consciousness, right? If we want to control something, it’s only within the realm of what we can currently conceive.
To control it, we have to be able to think about it and plan it. We have to already have it in our mind.
We’re limited by our current consciousness. And that perspective might be really limited.
But when those expectations—that control—is dashed, then anything is possible. Then we have to grow our consciousness to make sense of and deal with the issue before us.
Muscles don’t grow from doing the same things we always do. They grow when we do more. Just like every other aspect of our being. Just like our consciousness.
I grow when I’m faced with challenges. When I’m forced to grow. Because, believe me, I can talk a good game, but, given the choice, I will always choose what I want over growth.
Every single time.
We become obsessed with what we want. We want to work hard for it and pray for it and control it. We think we obviously know what’s best for us. And we absolutely need to meet our expectations.
And that’s great. If none of my expectations were ever met, I wouldn’t have a very functional life. I need to be able to predict some things.
But, without any surprises, there is no growth. Without the need to expand, we’re staying put.
And, most of the time, we realize we were thinking way too small. I was thinking I wanted to be healthy and content, drinking and eating shitty food in my mediocre life, when really I could be thriving and nourishing myself in an extraordinary life.
I could never think that big before I got sick. I just wanted what I wanted. Until it didn’t work out, and it forced my consciousness to grow.
I’ve started calling the shit that goes wrong “little miracles.”
Because they are miracles. Even if it takes us 30 years to see the miracle inside of them.
They’re catalysts. That morph us and change our entire growth trajectory.
And they might be extraordinarily painful. They might push us to our absolute breaking point. They might be the worst hell we’d never even wish on our worst enemies.
But, somehow, some way, we expand. We grow.
And I’ve learned to balance the two things—planning and clarifying my desires and working really hard to get them, and then being open if shit goes according to plan or not.
And even celebrating when it does go wrong.
Because that means that I have to dig deeper and learn more about myself and my own capacity for growth than I ever knew possible.
“Shit going wrong” is always an invitation to step more fully into our genius.
We can accept the invitation, or we can ignore and repress it, doing our best just to stay afloat with where we’re at.
And we really shouldn’t underestimate how much we can repress what we don’t want to deal with. We’re absolutely phenomenal at it.
We can ignore the digestive upset and high-blood pressure. We can explain away the insomnia as something everyone deals with. We can distract ourselves with Netflix to avoid the discontent we’re feeling.
We’re really, really good at not accepting that invitation and avoiding its effects.
But, if we do want to accept that invitation, then “shit going wrong” becomes our opportunity for growth.
If our reality can only ever be perceived through consciousness, then it seems logical that the only possible way to shift reality is through a shift in consciousness.
We need to see ourselves and the world in new ways. We need to think bigger than we ever have before. We need to change our perspective. We need to grow.
And that’s why I love when shit goes wrong.
Because there’s nothing that makes you grow quite like feeling forced to.
And we visionaries have really big visions to share with the world. It’s time we start to grow.
Questions for Reflection:
*Answer in a journal, in the comments right here, or take it over to the Sacred Branding® Facebook group where we can support one another:
What do you do when shit goes wrong?
— Do you often try to control situations—working hard, praying, “manifesting” to get what you want and expect?
— Do you get really distraught when things don’t go as planned and take you by surprise? Do you have a lot of fear that you’re not safe or start to blame yourself for “doing something wrong”?
— What if you saw “shit going wrong” as an invitation to grow more fully into your genius? What if you actually got excited about any surprises—“good” or “bad,” and saw them as little miracles that force your consciousness to grow? What if you gave yourself permission to be safe even when things don’t go to plan?