Life is funny. Every once in a while, I think back to this exact day one year ago. Two years ago. Five years ago. 10 years ago. To see how I got here. What actions, what decisions made the big impact. The fork in the road. To bring me to this place.
Fortunately, I keep a meticulous calendar and have a stalkerish memory.
Ten years ago today, I was in my sophomore year of college. By chance, I was living with Garrett and three other guys, thought I didn’t know him incredibly well. I hadn’t even started a job in PR yet (my first full-time PR job would happen that July).
Eight years ago today, I was living in San Francisco, working in healthcare reform. I had spent most of my summer living in Italy, where I learned Italian. And I needed a change from Boston, so when I was offered a job in San Francisco, I jumped at it. This job ended up being with the team that would break off and start our own company together that coming August.
Six years ago today, I had recently moved in with Garrett and another friend—the first time since we lived together for eight months in college. It’s strange to think that I’ve lived with him ever since then—only we certainly didn’t know that’d be the case at the time. But, if we weren’t living together, he wouldn’t have been there when I got sick, which would happen in June.
Four years ago today, I had given my notice almost a year before and was a mere month and a half from leaving my job. Garrett would be coming with us to Aruba for the first time. And I was about to start my own business.
Two years ago today, I was in the midst of running my fourth Sacred Circle. I had released my book Enough Already the past spring, and had bought a house with Garrett in June. I was about to start my first Sacred Mastermind, and I had just filed to become an official LLC.
If I hadn’t lived with Garrett by chance 10 years ago, we probably wouldn’t be together today. If I hadn’t gotten my exact PR job almost 10 years ago, I probably wouldn’t do what I’m doing today (and wouldn’t have known our legal wedding officiant).
If I hadn’t moved to San Francisco, I never would have had the amazing PR opportunities I did, owning my own agency and getting to do some incredible work. And I certainly wouldn’t have the skills or confidence that I do now—both in PR and life.
I remember being so broke that I was lucky if I had $20 at the end of a month (I made $12/hour and had a $1100/month apartment because it’s San Francisco). But I had no friends, so I would safe enough to spend $5 every day at my local bar. And I’d force myself to talk to every single person in that bar before I finished my one beer—because it was all I could afford. And that’s how I made friends.
If I didn’t have that, I wouldn’t be who I am today.
And if I hadn’t moved in with Garrett six years ago, we certainly wouldn’t be together today. And I probably wouldn’t be doing this work either. In fact, if he hadn’t been matched for residency in Boston (which he didn’t want), we wouldn’t have been living together when I got sick, and we wouldn’t be together today.
If I hadn’t gotten sick then, I wouldn’t be with Garrett or have left my job. And I wouldn’t be writing this right now. And I wouldn’t have written a book or run the Sacred Circle or gotten to work with all the amazing people that I do.
There are millions—infinite—small forks in the road that led me to this moment. Some that seemed big, some that seemed small. And none of which that I could have predicted ahead of time.
At our legal wedding ceremony on Friday, my friend Kate—whom I met at my first PR job almost 10 years ago—said that the thing she loves most about our relationship is the level of ease and flow associated. We couldn’t have predicted it—or avoided it—if we tried. A series of strange synchronicities kept occurring to bring us here.
Of course, it didn’t always feel like ease or flow when we were living it. But it made me really reflect on life. And destiny. And the subtle butterfly effect of simple, seemingly meaningless actions.
I have no idea where life will take me from here. Or how I’ll look back and one day write again about where I was 10, 8, 6, 4, and 2 years ago.
All I can do is make the decision that feels right in any given moment. Following—and trusting—my intuition. Having the courage to say yes, even when I’m scared, because I know it’s right.
And then watching in awe as it all unfolds over years.
What synchronicities brought you to this moment?