Busy. Life has been busy.
I’m sitting here, fresh off a busy weekend in Vermont, thinking about what I need to do to get ready for Minneapolis on Friday. And I’m exhausted.
In the whirlwind of last few weeks, we’ve been away and on the go every single weekend and trying to catch back up on life for half the week. Not to mention that we’ll be away for an entire week for a conference Garrett’s attending starting Friday. And, when we come back, we have our I Do BBQ at-home reception immediately after.
Planning a wedding on the tail end of a month of travel is stressful, to say the least. And juggling that with trying to run my business and do the stuff I want to do is tiring. I’ve constantly been feeling like I’m forgetting something or leaving something behind.
A part of me is craving routine. Back to the easy days where I’m at home, with my schedule, and all I have to do is really, really good work. Just show up and do what I do best. Teach in the Sacred Circle. Facilitate in the Sacred Mastermind. Support and empower VIP clients. Write and speak to audiences. It’s fun. It’s easy. It’s what I do.
So, when a big wrench gets thrown into that plan, all hell breaks loose. I’ve got to do my work with one arm while bending over backwards to figure out all of this new stuff with the other.
And all this time, I’ve been thinking that I must be getting ready for an uplevel. Being this busy. And this overwhelmed. Surely an uplevel is coming. What I didn’t realize was that forced flexibility is the uplevel. The ability to do more than I ever thought possible. The ability to not just lean on routines, but to bring routines into everything I do. To find balance, even when there isn’t any. To surrender and find peace, even when constantly traveling and coordinating a wedding.
The uplevel isn’t in the external circumstances. It’s in here. It’s in me. It’s in the fact that I can handle everything and still nourish myself.
Because my worth, my happiness isn’t determined by these outside circumstances. It’s experienced in here. And I get to decide how I want to experience all of this.
I have this nasty habit of trying to control the future sometimes. Of assuming I know exactly how something will go. Like, “Oh, this conference will be boring, and it will be impossible to get much work done there.” Or “I’ll be so stressed and rushing trying to make sure everything is ready for the I Do BBQ.”
And I convince myself that it’s the only way it can be. That such and such an event won’t be fun. I can’t possibly have fun at it. Or that I’ll have no time for myself. Or for exercise. Or I won’t be able to eat healthy. Or I’ll have to drink alcohol. Or whatever story I’m convinced of.
And I can go into situations with this mentality. Setting myself up for failure. Stressed before anything has even happened. Victimizing myself like I’ve made no decisions here and this is just happening to me. Maybe even blaming people like—say Garrett—for forcing me to go.
Or—if I choose—I can accept it. And be okay with it. And lean into it. Not knowing the future. But curious. Ready to enjoy it. Ready to make it all work. Asking for support where I need it. Saying no when I need to. Taking time for myself here and there. Letting things be imperfect.
I get to have a choice. And that right there is the uplevel. The choice that my happiness isn’t dependent on external stimuli. That there’s no objective reality. No matter how busy or crazy life gets, I don’t have to feel stressed at all. I can let go. I can relax. I can enjoy. I can trust and ask for support.
You know, contrary to popular belief, uplevels rarely happen when conditions are good. Because—why would they? Why would we ever learn or change or grow if everything is working out? Uplevels usually happen out of necessity. Because we’ve called in a lesson big enough. Because we’re ready to deal with more. And we need to change our usual patterns to start to deal with it. That’s the reality of an uplevel.
It’s preparing you to play on a whole new level. You’ve just got to accept the invitation.
So look around you today. Look at the craziness, the business, the stress coming up for you. Do you want to engage with the same old patterns you’ve always had? Or are you ready to play at a new level, in a new way? Will you accept the invitation to uplevel? Will you rise to the occasion and take on more?
The choice is yours. It’s always yours. You get to decide if it’s stress or upleveling. You get to decide if it’s annoyance or happiness.
You get to decide how good you want your life to be.