I Stopped Listening to Most Money Mindset Teachers — And My Income Grew

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I don’t “charge what I’m worth.” And I don’t “add more value.” And I definitely “leave money on the table”—pretty intentionally.

In fact, I make “horrible” financial business decisions. I spend a lot on gifts for the Mastermind, working with, in my humble opinion, incredible artisans and artists when I could easily get them a lot cheaper from a big corporation.

And I am constantly taking a personal pay hit to make sure my team is well cared for. Or that we’re investing in what we need to be investing in for the future.

And sometimes I intentionally undercharge for things. The Circle was very clear that it wanted to be $750 for years. But it started at $300 and slowly worked its way up. The Mastermind is following a similar trajectory.

Because I don’t think I “add enough value” yet? Of course not. That works is just as life-changing today as it has always been. But because I need a lot of help in fully forming it. And so, charging less than it wants to be means I’m essentially paying the early customers to help me form it. To create it. To help me unpack and teach me about the work.

They’re my co-creators. And that’s vital for this work to be coming through purely.

Otherwise, the work would never come through as it has today. I’d be putting a lot of pressure on myself to have something fully formed that I couldn’t possibly create myself. And that kind of pressure is crippling to me.

There’s a lot of “money mindset” information out there. And I probably break almost all the rules. In fact, I downright think some of it can be harmful.

I mean, how can I ever charge what I’m worth? What if I charge $1 million? Why am I capping my worth at $1 million? Furthermore, why is my worth being attached to an arbitrary dollar amount?

My worth is inherently infinite. And everything I do has infinite value. So why am I trying to quantify it and commodify myself?

Sure, we might feel insecure or doubt our abilities, and that’s why we’re charging less. And, if that’s the case, there’s a lot we can do to understand why we’re not offering what subjectively feels like an equal energy exchange.

But that’s about subjectively perceived self-worth. And has absolutely nothing to do with any objective value of “what I’m worth.”

I’m fortunate. I’ve had experiences early in life where I made a lot of money. And, through those, I pretty much stopped equating my value to dollars. I’ve done some of what I consider the most valuable work for free. I currently make less money than I used to in PR, and yet I feel a hell of a lot more self-worth—both in the work and myself.

I care about my clients and team as much as myself. I want everything to feel like an equal energy exchange. I invite in conversations about money from my team. If they’re not happy, I want to be the first to know. Why would we ever feel shame to talk about that?

I love breaking down the shame when clients are scared that they can’t afford a program. Why would there be shame? Money’s just money. It doesn’t mean anything about you. Some of us are rich, some of us are poor. But we’re all inherently worthy.

We all have different relationships with money. But I never want someone to feel super constrained because they want to work with me. I mean, if they’re comfortable with debt and that feels empowering to them, who am I to tell them it’s wrong? I trust their subjectivity. And if they have a big bank account but don’t feel safe to spend here, similarly, who am I to try to convince them how to spend their money? I have no idea if it’s the right decision for them. But they do.

We’ve been conditioned to distrust ourselves with money. I used to really distrust myself. Gosh, even when I made a lot of money, I never used credit cards. Because I was afraid to have to deal with money by paying them. Debit cards—it automatically went out. And I never had to look.

That’s how afraid I was. That’s how little I trusted myself.

And then I left my job—with an abundance of savings. And those savings withered as I invested in my business and bought a house. And so I had less money than ever.

And that’s the time in my life that I’m most grateful for. Because it forced me to confront all of my underlying issues and the ways I used money to try to cover them up.

At any point, I could have left, gotten a job in PR, and made more money. So every business decision I made had to be 100% aligned. If I was willing to compromise myself, I might as well have been making more money.

And that forced me to create my own rules and the exact business I wanted while simultaneously noting that I’ve got to face all my own “value” demons. Of where I feel unworthy. Of where I’m still attaching my worth to money. Of where I struggle to receive.

I’m incredibly proud of my relationship with money. And my freedom from feeling better or worse about myself based on my bank account (provided my basic needs are cared for).

Maybe you could say I’m not “charging what I’m worth,” but can I ever if my worth is infinite? It’s funny. We never shame a person for not taking in enough oxygen. If they’re breathing and exchanging enough oxygen for carbon dioxide to keep them doing their thing, it’s totally okay.

And maybe you could say I’m not “adding enough value,” but being myself is the most valuable thing I could do—because I have infinite, inherent value.

And I’m not willing to internalize any messaging that reiterates shame for me. I am Divine. I am worthy. And I’m too busy loving myself to get caught up in our collective obsession with money.

Money is such a big topic. And we all have our own relationships to it. But no one can tell us the right relationship to have with money. Maybe you’re financially conservative. Maybe you’re a little more risk-prone. Maybe you enjoy your work so much and feel everyone deserves it, so you charge a little less than the market and that feels empowering to you. Maybe you love your work, but feel drained by intensive sessions and need more money to compensate.

There’s a lot of freedom in not attaching your own objective worth to money. Because, at least for me, it allows me to then make my own subjective decisions about money. And use my own to create the world I want to give in. Through how I spend it. Through how I charge it. Through partnerships and paying my team and all of that.

There’s a lot more nuance to money than just a few stock money mindset phrases. That nuance is your subjectivity. Who you really are.

So what’s your authentic relationship to money? If you pulled out all the conditioning and stories, what feels good to you?

If you could spend your days doing your ideal work, what would you do? And then what do you need back in return for it to be an empowering exchange?

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