Ease and resistance.
Last year, I learned a lot about ease. In April 2016, I was planning a secret trip to Italy to propose and hiding thousands and thousands of dollars from Garrett to plan it. I was secretly traveling down to Pennsylvania to ask for Garrett’s parents’ blessing and pretending I was at a retreat in Syracuse. I had put the Sacred Circle in self-study and was still balancing out where the difference in income was coming from.
To say that I was stressed would be an understatement. So my coach suggested I do an expert: 30 days of ease. For 30 days—the month of April—I had to embrace ease. To keep it easy, we made a few rules—or guidelines—of what I would and wouldn’t do. Things like I couldn’t stress about money. And I couldn’t put pressure on myself to make more money. And I would ask for support from people around me. And I would run essential oils all day. And I would exercise and meditate. And I would receive any gift I was offered.
It wasn’t a particularly hard challenge to follow. The rules were simple. But the effects were instantaneous and life-changing.
Before my eyes, what had seemed so challenging suddenly turned into fun and excitement. Everything shifted back into perspective. And I realized that all of the ‘obstacles’ were simply part of the journey. I had an option: I could resist them, or I could lean into them. The difference, of course, was ease.
When we got to Italy and I was about to propose, this came in handy. We all remember that story. Everything went wrong. Everything just went to shit. We were stuck in the rain for over two hours and couldn’t even go to the Vatican; the Metro broke down; we could barely see in the rain’ we got lost, I had to pee so badly; we ended up in the wrong part of Rome; we started fighting; we finally got our bags and got to the Metro only to realize Garrett’s pass was destroyed in the rain; at the train station, our train platform wasn’t listed and no one would help us; I frantically ran around begging people in English and Italian to call the train; finally, someone did and we had under one minute to sprint across the station and jump on before it took off.
It wasn’t the day I planned on. At all. I wanted to push the proposal back. But I remember I had the option to choose ease. So I did. And it ended up being the best proposal—and proposal story—I could have imagined.
Because the truth in marriage—and in life—is that things aren’t always to go smoothly. But ease isn’t about perfection. It’s about choosing the path of ease. Not resisting what is in front of us.
When I got home from Italy, I started a 30 Days of Ease challenge last June. And invited many of you along for the ride. And we all did our own challenge. To explore what it meant to step into ease. What it meant to drop our resistance. What stories we were so tied to that we refused to welcome in ease because of.
I almost forgot about that challenge last year. Until this week, as I wrote about on Tuesday, I was stressing. I have been away every weekend. And we’re away in Minneapolis for a week starting tonight. And then I come home and have an at-home reception.
So I looked at the calendar. And there was June 1. Another 30 Days of Ease was in order.
I started it in my Sacred Entrepreneurship Facebook group. And you’re totally welcome to join if you’d like. We’ll be exploring ease together.
This whole challenge has really gotten me thinking about ease. Not when it’s simple and convenient. But when it isn’t. When shit is hitting the fan. How can we learn to let things be easy? To stop resisting so much? To find peace and accept what is. To feel at peace even when we’re fighting for what we believe in or doing a million things at once. Is it possible to be busy and full of ease? Is it possible to feel ease in everything we do?
The second I set the intention to do 30 Days of Ease, I took a deep breath. I relaxed. I remembered that ease is my choice. My birthright. And the decision to resist or feel ease is something I get to decide in every moment.
How about you? Will you choose ease?