It’s been a while since I’ve last written. Last week I was in a new city and a new time zone. On a new schedule.
Returned to Denver—the place where three years ago I was about the launch our first Sacred Circle. And it made me reflect on the hundreds of people who’ve been affected by the work since then.
I had the fortune of meeting up with a bunch of these people while I was in town—at all levels of the work. From just entering the Circle to jus entering the Mastermind to completing the Mastermind.
It’s weird to have a packed schedule of meeting and hanging out with people and getting to call that work. We ate delicious food and tried kava kava and walked the streets talking about life and reality. We sat in a beautiful park and meditated and had an impromptu live video interview with a future self.
And the theme that came up through all of it—time and time again—was just how easy life can be. If we give ourselves permission.
I’ll tell you that not that long ago—even just those three years ago—giving myself permission to walk the streets and talk to people all day was excruciatingly challenging. I might have told myself I was lazy. Or that I had a million things to do. Or that money wouldn’t just come to me when I’m enjoying myself.
The belief that work is measured by the hours in front of a computer was so conditioned into me that I actually felt anxious when I wasn’t checking my e-mail. I remember when I first made decent money. I felt guilty. I told myself that I didn’t deserve it. Because I hadn’t worked that hard for it.
Starting the Sacred Circle those three years ago happened after I’d already released a book to the world. And had many one-on-one clients. And some successful programs. But it was honestly my first foray into real de-conditioning work. It was my first true exploration of subjectivity work.
And I was shocked as we sat on the grass meditating one of the days, and one of my clients said, “I don’t think you realize the impact you’ve made on me. We just got to hang out, talk, and laugh. And already today I’m having bigger insights and shifts than I’ve had in a month in front of the computer working. You embody that unapologetic ease, and I’m able to learn not from what you say, but what you do.”
Me? Unapologetic ease?
I remember when I used to struggle to relax at all. When there was that twinge of guilt or my to-do list always in the back of my mind. When I felt stuck and frustrated and angry with myself for not moving forward fast enough. When low signup count could derail my whole day.
But the ironic thing is that when I’m going for long walks or talking to people who inspire me all day long, none of that seems so hard. In fact, it all starts getting really easy and manageable. And the insights come to me faster and sooner.
Everyone who’s met me in person knows I’m constantly pausing a conversation to look up the etymology of a word I just heard, or am jotting down notes to return to later.
In truth, I work just a few hours a day. And I’m always working—especially in my sleep. It’s the paradox of the work that we do. Actually, I think it’s the paradox of fully being yourself.
It’s everything and it’s nothing all at once.
So I started building a life around weekly calls with people I’m inspired by. And long walks outside. And hanging out with good friends. And really bad, trashy TV in between work. A guiltless life. One that I deserve.
One that allows me to eat delicious food and laugh with clients and meditate in parks. One that allows me to write each weekday and create new programs I’ve always wanted to make and ask my dream clients to join me.
It’s weird to think how fast life can change when you start to decondition from those old stories—the ones that no longer serve you.
I’m here now—still integrating Denver. Still integrating the shifts I’ve made in my life over the last three years. Still integrating that today starts our last continuous Circle. After this, we’ll be running Circles just quarterly. As the next enfoldment of the work opens.
I’m back. And there’s more work to be done. To deepen into who I am.
What’s transformed your life the most over the last few years?