This morning, as I was thinking about what to write about, nothing was coming to mind. I couldn’t think of a single thing. Part of me felt like maybe I should just take the day off from writing. I could feel the resistance building up.
Now, having done this every weekday morning for over three years, I’m pretty in tune with the routine. I’ve learned to trust the process. I’ve learned to even look forward to that level of resistance. Because it means that a breakthrough is right around the corner.
As spiritual entrepreneurs, we’re asked to trust. A lot. We’re asked to surrender and allow. Even when it’s scary. Even when it’s hard.
And, I have to be honest, no matter how many times I’ve heard the advice to “let go,” “detach,” and “surrender,” I’ve thought—that’s really, really great. But what does that actually mean?
Across the board—across hundreds of entrepreneurs that I’ve worked with—there’s a similar story among everyone who’s had a major breakthrough. You know, that incredible download, where their life’s work was just gifted to them.
It didn’t come from a lot of thinking. Or even a lot of meditating. It came in the middle of a breakdown. When resistance was at its highest. When they were scared as fucking shit. The moment they wanted to quit. The moment their mind told them it’s not worth it. That this isn’t working. That it can’t work.
And then it happened.
Because, to me, surrender simply means to accept what is. When we forgive, we accept that the past happened. We aren’t condoning it, but we also aren’t still wishing for the insane and impossible act of changing the past. It just is. Okay. So now we can move forward again.
When we surrender to this current moment, we’re accepting it for what it is. That we’re broke. Or that we’re moving forward with our business because we feel called. Or that no one is signing up for our program, and that’s okay. We’re surrendering. We’re accepting. We’re trusting.
It doesn’t mean that we have to know the answer. It just means that we believe an answer is coming.
A few months ago, I had one of the scariest client situations I’d ever had. I was coaching a client, when she doorbell rang. She ran to get it—intuitively knowing it couldn’t wait—and it was a foreclosure notice. She was sitting across from my, uncontrollably sobbing. And I was scared shitless. I didn’t know what to do. I had no freaking idea how to help someone with this kind of situation. I’m not a mortgage expert or financial planner. So I sat there. And she sat there. And I could feel her wanting to end the call and process the experience. I could feel her resistance.
And my own. I wanted to get off that call too. Because I was scared. But I stayed there. In this place of terrible resistance on both of our parts. And I looked her in the eyes. And I said, “I’m right here. I’m not moving. And I’m not giving up on you.”
A little energetic work, some serious deep diving, some strategy, and 90 minutes later, everything had shifted. We had a plan to save the house. And, more than that, we had a plan to get her out of that mess once-and-for-all. So she’d never be back there again.
A few hours later, I got a phone call. The house was saved.
Truthfully, I had no idea what to do in that moment. But I accepted the moment as it was. I didn’t try to change it. Or avoid it. Or pretend it was something different. I just sat there, unwilling to give up on someone I cared about. Willing to sit with the discomfort until the answer rose up.
The scariest part is being that horrible uncomfortable. Sticking with it even when all logic and resistance tells you otherwise.
To me, that’s what real surrender is. And when the breakthrough happens.
So look at your own life. Look at the areas—in your business, in your relationships, in your money story—that you’re avoiding. That you’re wishing were different.
Are you replaying an old story and wishing it were a different outcome? Are you wishing someone said or acted differently? Are you wishing you acted differently?
Are you wishing for a different present? That more clients signed up? That you have more money in this moment? That your relationship is happier? That your business is taking off?
If we’re ever going to change what will be, we have to accept what is first. Life is happening. This is what’s going on. This is the situation that we’re in. We’re facing it courageously. We’re not running. We’re not avoiding. We’re facing it. And we’re willing to sit here all day long until the answer presents itself. Because we deserve it. Because we love ourselves. Because we know that, if we trust, we’ll be provided an answer eventually. And we have all day. Hell, we have all life.
It’s about not giving up on yourself. It’s about being willing to wade the uncomfortable waters.
I’ve seen lives change overnight. Powerful, world-changing downloads come in. Businesses flourish in the blink of an eye. When people are willing to stick with themselves. And surrender. Even in the highest states of resistance. Until the breakthrough happens.
Are you willing to stay with yourself through the breakthrough? Are you willing to trust and surrender, even when you don’t know the answer?
Do you deserve it?