The One Simple Concept That Will Change Your Life

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Every weekday morning, I sit in front of a blank page—an empty canvas, of sorts. And I wonder what wants to come out. What could be most helpful to people of the world—including myself.

I never have any idea beforehand what I’m going to write. I don’t go into the process with a plan at all. Some days, I list out everything I did that week in hopes of inspiration. Some days, I list out ideas I’ve been playing around with or memories from the past. I wait and wait patiently, until inspiration strikes. And then I write every word I hear in my mind. Until there are no words left.

It’s a good container for me.

I talk a lot about containers and essence in my work. In fact, it’s one of the first distinctions we even explore in the Sacred Circle. And, in my humble opinion, one of the most life-changing concepts I’ve ever heard about. Because even at the highest levels of the work, we usually come back to this concept again and again.

My work is interested in essence. It’s interested in that undeniable, unmistakable energy of who you are. It’s the energy medicine you give to others. It’s the energy medicine you want for yourself. It’s what you want to feel, become, and create in the world. It’s what you naturally express without trying. And it’s splattered across every job you’ve ever had, every trauma and drama you’ve ever faced, and every experience you’ve danced with.

It’s the culmination of every desire, thought, experience, trauma, dream, yearning, and fear. In short, it’s what we call Brand Energies from our Sacred Branding™ process.

And we share that essence through containers. Lots and lots of containers. In fact, any energy that is manifested (physically or conceptually) is being contained in a container.

My home is a container for my shelter. My relationship is a container for my love and growth. My business is a container for my self-expression and abundance. My morning routine is a container for my grounding. Hell, even this blog is a container for my voice and expression.

There are endless containers in our lives. But a container’s job is only to contain and share an essence. Nothing more, nothing less. And the appropriateness of that container is communicated by how well it contains and shares the essence.

We can think about this like a Mason jar of water that I’m always drinking out of. The water inside is the essence. That’s what I actually want. But I need a way to access it. So I drink it out of a Mason jar. Technically, I could drink it out of a mug, a cup, a wine glass—whatever.

But here’s the thing—depending on the container I choose, I might get more or less of that water. If I choose an 8oz cup and try to pour in the 32oz of water that I usually drink in, it’d spill out everywhere. And I’d never actually get all of that water.

So many of us have been told we’re too much in our lives, right? Too intense, too emotional, too sensitive. And the thing is—the person who said it may not have been well-meaning, but they were incredibly astute. Because what they’re actually saying is “You’re too much for me to handle in this container.” They’re clearly telling us it’s too small of a container for us.

In that example of that water, I would never start shaming the water for being too much when it was spilling over in the small container; I’d just get a bigger container.

Most of the time when we’re internalizing shame, it’s because our container isn’t the right one for us.

Because good containers can hold all of us. I mean all of us. The good, the bad, the ugly.

My relationship sure as hell better be able to hold my worst days just as much as my best. And my business better follow suit, too.

I’m done with conditional love, power, worth, and success. I want containers that can allow all of me. Containers that do the heavy lifting for me. So that I show up on a call with no plan and just start teaching. Or I show up to a mastermind and people are shocked at how easily they can open up and be vulnerable. Or I show up to my blog and just trust that all I have to do is write down the words that I hear.

A good container dictates how much essences gets contained and shared. Nothing else. So, if we’re not feeling what we want to feel and sharing what we want to share, we don’t have a problem with ourselves; we have a container problem.

And understanding that—really, really understanding it—will change your life. Because we immediately stop internalizing shame. We stop telling ourselves we’re broken or wrong or fucked up. And we immediately because to identify problems in our containers and how to fix them. And then, like magic, our relationships and businesses begin to flourish. Because more of ourselves begins to shine through.

I get up and I get to write every morning to help share my essence—my Brand Energies—with the world. And that means I get to be nourished by them too. Because a good container will allow us to access that essence.

Allow us to feel what we want—who we are—from our relationships and jobs and activities and even morning routines.

Understand the simple distinction between essence and container. It’ll change your life.

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