The difference between martyrdom and equal energy exchange.
Last night, in my Sacred Circle, we had our Value Mastermind Call and talked all about how we’re integrating that energy. To be honest, it’s a big trigger week for most of us. It brings up a lot of issues about self-worth, Divinity, and money shame.
Sometimes, it can be too difficult to look at the Value energy in the form of money at all at first. We’ve got too much tied up in there. We’ve got old stories. We’ve got family histories. We’ve got mixed messages from books, movies, even coaches that confuse the hell out of us.
So we’ve got to take a step back and go back to basics. Because it’s actually very, very simple. Create is all about making containers to manifest our purpose. It’s all about selecting the right vehicle to share ourselves with the world. The thing we feel called to do. Like create this luxury VIP Day. Or take our significant other on a surprise proposal trip to Italy. Or plan a stunning wedding in Aruba.
And then Value is simply how we make that container sustainable. What we need to get back to be able to do it. It’s that simple.
If you asked me to watch your dog while you’re away, I might ask you for your keys and to stay at your house and to give me instructions. It has nothing to do with ‘money,’ per se, but it’s simply what I need to make that container sustainable or doable.
When we’re exploring Value, we’re just looking at our containers—all containers across the board—and deciding how we can make these sustainable. What needs to happen or them to become sustainable. What would constitute an equal energy exchange. Like maybe having a friend support us just as much as we support them. Or maybe having our partner do the dishes while we do the laundry. Or maybe taking a daily bath so that we can show up fully on our call.
There’s no judgment. It’s all subjective, so if it feels equal to you, that’s the important part. But we just want to make sure, at the end of the day, we’re hitting equilibrium somewhere.
Because, if we don’t. If we’re always giving, giving, giving without getting anything in return, that’s martyrdom. That’s sacrifice. And it’s a surefire way to completely burn out, grow resentful, and never fully live our purpose.
Value is actually very simple. It’s the unfortunately radical idea that we are already worthy. That we have infinite inherent worth just for existing. So we don’t have to prove that worth at all. We can deserve to get back at least what we put out into the world. And we can be nourished just for being. Just like the sun and earth nourish us daily. Or like we had a roof over our heads and food provided for us as a child. We don’t have to do anything to deserve. Because we’re already worthy.
Then, when you choose to bring in money, it’s simple. You take a look at the container you’re creating—say a business offering—and you look at every aspect of it from time it’ll take to energy it’ll expend to even financial expenses. And you just decide what amount of money you’d need for that to feel equal. That’s it. That’s how you make it sustainable.
Now, I’ve got to be honest. I have no idea if anyone is willing to pay that. I really don’t know. And your audience may need to be activated to beliefs like they’re worthy or they matter, which is kind of an Express thing. So I can’t say anyone will pay it. But what I can say is that if you charge any less than that amount you decided upon, you will knowingly be slowly killing yourself by giving away more energy than you’re getting. You will intentional be sacrificing. And you’ll be a martyr.
Not all containers I think of are sustainable for me. I’d love to have a VIP party on a yacht in Boston. But I don’t think my clients are ready to pay what it’d take for me to plan that yet. And that’s okay. That’s totally cool. Not all containers are sustainable. So I’m not going to go ahead of upfront the money and plan that even and then charge less because I want to do it. Of course, I’ll go into debt.
But that’s exactly what we do every time we undercharge. We go into energetic debt. And sometimes financial debt. Because we’re knowingly giving more than we’re getting.
And we’re not martyrs. We are not martyrs.
We’re people trying to live out our life purpose the best way we know how.
So pause for a moment today. Think about what is the minimum that you need in return for all that you do. To be sustainable. To be able to keep doing it. To do it effectively. Think of why you’re not gifting that to yourself. Why you’re not asking for it. Why you don’t feel worthy.
Allow yourself to open to a new story. One where you don’t have to prove yourself. One where you already have infinite inherent worth.
Magic starts the moment you let yourself receive. Who knows what you can create from here.